A mother is making a breakfast of fried eggs for her teenage son. 

Suddenly the boy bursts into the kitchen.  He screams, "Careful!  CAREFUL!  Put in some more butter!  Oh my goodness!  You're cooking too many at once. Turn them!  TURN THEM NOW!  We need more butter.  Oh my!  They're going to STICK! Careful...
CAREFUL!  I said be CAREFUL!  You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!  Never!
Turn them!  Hurry!  Are you CRAZY?  Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them.  You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt.  USE THE SALT!  THE SALT!"

The mother stares at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The son calmly replies, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm trying to play soccer."